DAP First Call
612.874.7063 | 10AM-4PM Monday-Friday
The following is a list of warning signs for potentially abusive relationships. They are presented as guidelines and cues to pay attention to, not as a judgment on the worth of the other person.
Question relationships with partners who:
- abuse alcohol or other drugs
- have a history of trouble with the law, get into fights, or break and destroy property
- don’t work or go to school
- abuse siblings, other family members, children or pets
- put people down, including your family and friends, or call them names excessively
- are always angry at someone or something
- try to isolate you and control who you see or where you go
- nag you or force you to be sexual when you don’t want to
- cheat on you or have lots of partners
- are physically rough with you (push, pull, yank, squeeze, restrain)
- take your money or take advantage of you in other ways
- accuse you of flirting or coming on to others, or accuse you of cheating on them
- don’t listen to you or show interest in your opinions or feelings
- things always have to be done their way
- ignore you, give you the silent treatment, or hang up on you
- lie to you, don’t show up for dates, maybe even disappear for days
- check out or make lewd comments about others in your presence
- blame all arguments and problems on you
- tell you how to dress or act
- threaten suicide if you break up with them
- experience extreme mood swings…tell you you’re the greatest one minute and rip you apart the next
- tell you to shut up or tell you you’re dumb, stupid, fat, or call you some other name (directly or indirectly)
- compare you to former partners or excessively bad mouth former partners
Some other cues that might indicate an abusive relationship might include:
- you feel afraid to break up with them
- you feel tied down, feel like you have to check-in
- you feel afraid to make decisions or bring up certain subjects so that the other person won’t get mad
- you tell yourself that if you just try harder and love your partner enough that everything will be just fine
- you find yourself crying a lot, being depressed or unhappy
- you find yourself worrying and obsessing about how to please your partner and keep them happy
- you find the physical and emotional abuse getting worse over time