Is Your Behavior Abusive?

DAP First Call

612.874.7063 | 8:00am-5:00pm Monday-Friday


You may be abusing your partner if they tell you that they are being hurt by your actions or words. You may not think you are abusive nor intend for your words or actions to hurt someone. But it is not about intentions. What matters is how your actions affect your partner.

Ask Yourself Some Questions

  • Has my partner told me that my words or actions hurt him/her?
  • Has my partner asked me to stop using those words or actions?
  • Have I ever used force or threats to prevent my partner from doing something he/she wanted to do?
  • Has my partner complained that I have pressured him/her into unwanted sexual activities?
  • Has my partner complained that I control or dominate his/her life in unwanted ways?

If you answered yes to any of these, you are probably engaging in a form of emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse against your partner. This does not mean you are a bad person, but it does mean that you must stop your abusive behavior.


Try a Timeout

Timeout is a tool to help you avoid violence. When you notice that you are escalated (feeling angry, tense and stressed out), take a break, leave, cool down and return calm. Take another timeout if you feel escalated again. Timeout means being responsible for your feelings, issues and behavior. Timeout can stop abuse. Call DAP’s First Call line at 612.874.7063 to learn more about timeouts.


Help Is Available

Change is possible. For over 35 years, DAP has given tools to men who learn to use these tools to end their abusive behavior. You deserve loving and nurturing relationships too. Choose to unlearn your abusive behavior.

There are programs available to help you take responsibility, talk about abuse, and get support. Call DAP’s First Call line at 612.874.7063 to learn more about our Men’s Program.